Codependency is a dysfunctional relationship dynamic where one person assumes the role of “the giver,” sacrificing their own needs and well-being for the sake of the other, “the taker.” The bond in question doesn’t have to be romantic; it can occur just as easily between parent and child, friends, and family members.
The term “codependency” first appeared in substance abuse circles to describe a lopsided relationship that has been consumed and controlled by one person’s addiction. It grew in popularity and became shorthand for any enabling relationship. Codependency is not a clinical diagnosis or a personality disorder and has sparked much debate and controversy among psychology experts.
Often, people who struggle with codependency are said to have been raised amidst dysfunctional family dynamics. They may have had a family member or close friend with an addiction or mental illness. They may also have experienced childhood trauma which led them to feel anxious or insecure about relationships. However, it’s important to remember that anyone can fall into an unhealthy relationship pattern.
They focus so much on pleasing others that they neglect their own wants and needs. Givers generally have low self-esteem, find it hard to set boundaries and be assertive, and struggle with asking for help when they need it. Takers are often struggling with serious issues, such as emotional immaturity, mental health problems, and addiction.