Women are frequently stereotyped as only going for ‘rich guys’ or guys who have a lot of social cache. Though not explicitly true, there is actually quite a bit of scientific evidence to support this assertion. For instance, the 2007 study noted above also found that women are far more likely to judge a man based on his perceived status and income. This is supported by another speed dating study from 2013, which found that women were more inclined to focus on social status than looks during mate selection. Women were most likely to rely on these criteria when asked to consider mates for long-term relationships. And while status stayed important in short term romances, women became much more focused on looks when marriage was off the table.
To see whether alpha or beta traits are more prized by women, we can refer to a New Zealand study of 100 men and 100 women attending the University of Canterbury. When asked to select between a long-term partner who was either warm and homely or cold and attractive, women overwhelmingly preferred ‘beta’ characteristics like warmth and trustworthiness. However, as with other studies, the reverse became true when the women were asked about short-term mates, with attractiveness taking precedence over a man’s lack of personality. Again, it seems that female mate selection is highly contextual. I fact, what they look for in a fling will often be the complete opposite of what they seek in a life-long romance.
Perhaps the most well-known research into female personality preferences comes from a 2007 study by Richard A. Lippa. It involves a survey put out on BBC internet, ultimately reaching some 119,733 men and 98,462 women. The task was simple: pick the top three traits you look for in a mate. This was out of a list of 23 traits running the gamut from intelligence and industriousness to parenting abilities and attractiveness. The top picks for women? Humor, intelligence, honesty, kindness, and values. Though not ‘exclusively’ beta, these are indeed traits largely associated with less assertive men. However, it’s worth noting that ‘good looks,’ ‘facial attractiveness,’ and ‘fitness’ were all rather high up on the women’s’ list as well. Curiously, ‘money,’ social status,’ and ‘prosperity’ were all at the bottom of the list, which seems to run counter to what other studies have concluded.
Younger women are more likely to be attracted to men who showed Dark triad traits – Narcissistic, Machiavellian and Psychopathic. People who have those traits are characterized by the mimicry of competence and so what women want is in men, more than anything else, is competent generosity. So, women want deeply men who are competent. Power is competence. Women confused competence with power. Therefore, women are much more likely to be fooled by Narcissistic Psychopaths. They confuse that malevolence with charm. He is not disagreeable (Big five personality traits) because he’s got integrity of character, but because he’s a psychopath. It’s not confidence, it’s false confidence. But there’s a certain confidence that that mimics. Certainly not competence. If you are competent and secure, you don’t care what other people think. But that doesn’t mean if you don’t care about what other people think, you’re competent and confident. But they can easily be confused. Women simply want to see that a man has a potential to provide in the future for a family.
Though women might be known for spending more time in front of the mirror, it’s actually men who are more judgmental when it comes to looks. According to a 2007 study performed in Germany, men placed far greater importance on the attractiveness of their mates than females. And while women were still drawn to attractive men, they were more likely to consider dating less attractive individuals if they possessed other qualities they prized. Another study, this time in 2013, demonstrated that mate selection among women is highly contextual. In the experiment, men and women were told to evaluate one another’s attractiveness during a speed dating event. The results showed that women with higher BMIs (body mass index) or lower facial attractiveness were less selective than their thinner, more attractive counterparts. Furthermore, these women became even less selective when there were more attractive females in the room. It this case, it was her attractiveness (not his) that influenced her selection.
It also seems that some attraction-related stereotypes might be rooted in truth. For instance, research shows that women overwhelmingly prefer men who are taller than them. In fact, according to a 2012 study from the Netherlands, women are more satisfied with a man who is roughly 21 cm taller than her. Conversely, men are far most comfortable when they are at least 8 cm taller than their partner.